Watchout For LariGoldEvents-TV

L

LARIGOLDEVENTS-TV

[ Read More ]

The Church, the Mosque and Poverty in Nigeria – Japheth J Omojuwa

.

And God is able to make all grace (every favour and [a]earthly blessing) come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need [b]be self-sufficient [possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation]. 2 Corinthians 9:8 (AMP)

Religious organisations in Nigeria have come under fire, some of it deserving while some of those are just a form of misplaced aggression. Many have designed the craft of abusing religious bodies, saying they are the bane of the society. While that is increasingly a popular path to take, it will never be the right path. The purpose of engagement is productivity and if we cannot say or do the things that’d make these organisations get better, we’d indeed be wasting everyone’s time by just blowing hot air without adding value. This piece is about how religious organisations can raise the ante and help bring about the much-needed change our country craves. I’ll be speaking mostly about what the church can do hoping that a reading Moslem or other believers can find a place for their beliefs in my ideas. This is for those genuine religious organizations that are interested in doing things better and improving on the good they already do. It is unfortunate that bad eggs in the midst make all the eggs look bad but the reason we have adulterated forms of anything is because the authentic forms thrive.

Contrary to some opinions, the Nigerian church has indeed done a lot! Many have had their lives transformed by choosing to apply some of the principles they picked up in church. People say they teach about prosperity but I’d rather that than poverty. People say churches collect people’s money but can we sit down and think; if the members had no money to give, would these churches be sustainable? That people give and give every week says something about the church and its style; it works! The church creates millionaires and billionaires who in turn give back to it. Like everything else, there’d be those that make money illegally who’d give to the church. I don’t think the church would start dividing its members into those who make legal money and those who make illegal ones. In my opinion, everything rests on what the church does with what it gets. That is the essence of this piece.

More often than not, those who knock the church are not those who make contributions to it. I am a Christian http://omojuwa.com/2010/09/god-does-not-exist-the-complete-edition/ and I believe I have earned the right to say some of the things I’d be saying because I am a Giving Christian. I do not give because I want God to bless me, God does not bless me because I give. I give because that’s who I am. God blesses me because that’s who He is.

The Nigerian church is doing a lot but the church is not doing anything near enough. Compared to its potentials, the church could start a revolution in this nation. By revolution I do not mean that of bullets and blood, that’d never work and Nigerians will never agree on those to kill anyway – federal character will end the debates about who to kill first (1966?). I expect the church to start a revolution of wealth creation and the development of education.

It is not always about the big system and its macro solutions, there is a lot the microcosms of the system can do in making the society a better place. In Germany, 25 per cent of the nation’s energy supplies come from renewable sources, while 51 per cent of the said renewable sources come from private homes. These are citizens essentially powering the nation from their homes. These numbers are expected to rise decade upon decade till the nation gets to source 80 per cent of its total energy needs from renewables. Citizens can indeed start revolutions and until we understand that the best revolution is that that places the responsibility of development in the hands of every citizen, we’d not have even started our march forward.

What if each religious organisations – in this sense I mean specific churches and mosques – have institutionalized systems of giving to the society? By giving I am not talking about the conventional ones that are often cosmetic in nature. We give clothes and food to the poor but as long as these ones remain in a position where we’d have to give them the same thing the following year nothing would have been done. We need to do better. We need to give in such a way that those who receive from us will not need alms again. A friend of mine told me of how her dad said and I will paraphrase “you should give so that they can come again tomorrow, if you give them too much they will grow wings and you will not see them again.” Our job is to give in the opposite sense of these words; give so that others can have enough to fly themselves. Give to productive activities.

What if we had a LIBRE Foundation dedicated to Education, Women and Entrepreneurship by a church called LIBRE? There is the Real Woman Foundation http://therealwoman.org/index.html that provides shelter and rehabilitation for abused women and the orphaned children. Projects like these should not be outliers; they should be the norm. The work starts from within. There are dedicated members who are able to attend University but are indigent. We can create an Education Fund for dedicated members in this situation. There is a chance they will stop attending your church/mosque after such benefits but you have to understand that you are doing this for the society and not your church. Nigeria has the world’s highest number of children out of school. If we reduce this by half, we would have reduced by an even more percentage the number of armed robbers, sex workers, potential terrorists that’d be unleashed on the nation in the coming years. If churches build schools, they should have a dedicated admission percentage slot for indigent church members. It is essential to charge the rich while building world-class self-sustaining institutions but what is the essence of a church that does not give back?

What if we had a fund for small businesses to grow bigger after training the owners of these businesses? Imagine the revolution. When businesses grow, they engage more hands and more hands mean more productive activities. The engaged hands even save enough to start their own businesses. You eventually have a domino effect of productivity and job creation. We can decide as a church to grow a particular number of businesses to a certain size per year. The funding could be in form of single digit loans – for sustainability – and in some cases even equity funding.

What if the church had a food bank where at least indigent members of the church can access food in times of food shortage? Where other members who have “more than enough” can give of their abundant food, new clothes and what have you. I once attended a church during my University days where everyone was allowed to come for food if in need during the examination period. I knew I’d never need such but I felt glad knowing that whoever was in need of such would find a way out because the church made a way. I know Nigeria’s Lagos based Daystar Christian Centre does this.

What if each religious organization reduced poverty in its midst to say less than 10% of its membership? Yes Jesus Christ did say the poor you will always have in your midst but He never said “the poor shall be the majority in your midst.” The most important thing is to start. How many poor people do you have in your church? How many of them have jobs? How many of them can be empowered to start businesses? We cannot reduce the numbers effectively if we don’t know exactly how many people are in the poverty box we need to lift out. When your members succeed, your church succeeds!

Considering the number of Nigerians that go to church and the mosque every week, we can go beyond the promises of the intangible. I know these promises of Heaven are real but we need to attend to the issues of today. If we could do this, we will bring back the souls lost to the world that felt the church was too big but too big for nothing. We would win even more souls for the Lord because it is easier to convince a man you’ve just fed to “come to the House of the Lord” than it is to convince a hungry man. He is angry. It is also easier for cynics to see the essence of the church beyond promises of Heaven. What is the purpose of a church without earthly relevance?

We need a revolution in Nigeria, no not a revolution of guns and bullets – we will never be united enough to have a nationwide revolution of this kind – but we can always be united to fight against poverty.

What if we sold the private jets? Would the monies be useful to educate more children? to help more mothers? to make the society a better place? Yes religious fathers need private jets, only that need is not as needful as the fact that the brethren is hungry, angry and needs convincing that this service to God is not about a few fathers instead of being about the children of God. What is the beauty of a Limo-stretch riding pastor’s wife in a church of mostly poor people? Do not be deceived by ceremonial Sunday attires, there are more poor people in your church than you’d imagine. We have competed enough on who has got the most beautiful church and the most modern backdrop, it is time to compete on who has lifted more people out of poverty. This would be a holy competition indeed!

The giving of the church should not be about giving for the recipients to return for another morsel tomorrow, it should be about giving to empower the recipients to survive on their own and become givers themselves in a matter of months – the 8th level of giving. We’d not have fake pastors if there were no original ones, we’d not have fake churches if there were no original ones. We’d not have the adulterated version of anything if there were no original ones. I believe there are true men of God and I believe it is time these ones shine the light on this country’s seemingly perpetual darkness. Thank you for the prayers, it is time to work!

The purpose of being blessed is to bless. Blessings are designed to flow not to be stagnant. It should flow from the blessed to bless others and the flow must never stop. Blessings should not be destroyed by being hoarded; we can create even more by blessing others. The symbolism of Jesus feeding 5000 is that He cares about the tangibles of this world. It matters to him that stomachs are filled with food, as it matters to Him that our spirit is filled with Him. He gave examples of giving clothes to the naked, food to the hungry etc these examples even came in parables concerning the way to Heaven.

For Christians, the fundamental part of our faith is the tangible reality of a gift: God gave His only begotten son and that son gave His life. There’d be no Christianity without giving and it is time we use this to address Nigeria’s unwholesome socio-economic realities. The church has the powers to raise men, women and resources to help lift more Nigerians out of poverty than any system in Nigeria apart from may be the Nigerian government.

PS: I’d be willing to partner any organization that intends to follow this piece up with tangible projects. We are trying but Nigeria’s situation needs for us to do more than try, we must see tangible results. I can be reached on omojuwatv@gmail.com Thank you

Do me a favour, print and share this with your religious leader or forward as a mail

[ Read More ]

Damage Control for Teenage Pregnancy By Modupe Olabenjo

The issue of teenage pregnancy has always been on my mind, considering that the number of occurrence among teenagers is escalating. Among a particular age group in each secondary school, you can be sure to have cases of teenage pregnancy. I did some research on available works about this issue and found out that majority of the articles available talked about the causes and consequences of teenage pregnancy. I was astonished to found out that only a few actually talked about what really happens after the deed has been done and a teenager is found to be pregnant. This brings to live the question of what happens after a case of teenage pregnancy has been discovered and more importantly, how parents and guardians of such children should react.

The reaction of parents to situations like this has been very devastating and that has not helped in making the condition of such teenagers any better. Let’s imagine the reaction of a typical Nigerian parent to their ward’s untimely pregnancy. The most common reaction is firstly, to threaten to disown the child, or to force the child into early marriage.

Now let’s analyze both options.

Talking about disowning the child, when this happens, the child becomes rejected at such a time where she needs so much attention and help, and in most cases, this leads to a drastic decision to abort such pregnancy. Obviously, aborting the child would expose her to severe complications that may damage her womb or even cost her life. And come to think of it unmanaged teenage pregnancy to a large extent is contributing to the increasing figures of maternal and newborn mortality in Africa. When such a child has been rejected, after aborting, in the bid to desperately get finances to fend for herself, she might engage in delinquencies that could ruin her life. Say prostitution. Eventually, a little mistake gradually leads to the termination of a bright future.

Considering the second option of a forceful marriage; forcing two people who probably because of a careless one nightstand brought a child to life can actually go a long way in marring the future of both the guy and the girl. The lady might end up in a marriage void of love, and she’s very likely to suffer from physical and emotional abuse as a result of forced marriage. There’s also a great likely hood for resentment towards the child produced from the union, because both untimely parents might begin to see the child as an obstacle and the reason for their unfortunate situation.

This child in question grows without adequate parental love from both parents in an odious environment, and she’s prone to living on the wrong guidance of her friends and peer group, which singularly exposes her to the same mistake that brought about her birth. And then, the cycle continues!

Looking at this from the broader perspective, what has the parent of the pregnant teenager achieved? It’s very important to clarify that I’m not advocating that teenagers neglect their studies and venture into delinquencies or pre-marital sex and then get pregnant or STDs. All I’m saying is that in cases when the unexpected happens, measures can still be put in place to ensure that with adequate love, advice and attention, such a child gets his steps back again. After all, we all make mistakes, foolish mistakes, intentional mistakes, unintended mistakes. However when such a mistake occurs, it’s definitely not the first or the last of such.

It’s so natural and expected that parents would get angry at such child yet; brooding over it with incessant regret and anger cannot reverse the mistake. The deed has been done, accept it and look for the best possible solution, give guidance and assurance and help the child regain self-confidence and a strong self-esteem. A search for a solution to clean up the mess is the most important thing, ensuring that she doesn’t lose her chances of a bright and fulfilling future. Naturally it’s expected that the teenage girl must have realized her mistake and would be passing through a very difficult time, both emotionally and physically. This is her most critical and vulnerable time.

I strongly believe that a mistake is not the end of the world; parents need to learn how to handle the issue of teenage pregnancy well, in order to stop the cycle and help the child to rise up again. Help and support the child through the period of pregnancy and after, encourage her to get back to school and continue her race towards the great future she has ahead of her. Teenage pregnancy is seen as the end of the world, but you can help to make it the beginning of a better life. Tell me…who doesn’t deserve a second chance?

Photo Credit: lifechoicesrc.com

This article was first published on www.bellanaija.com

[ Read More ]

This Is Why Women Matter To Us by Lanre Olagunju

The fact that the first woman is the only creature created from an already existing and living being tells a lot about a woman’s uniqueness and strength. But in a couple of ways, the world is yet to harness the power and strength of a woman. The saddest part is that instead of appreciating and nurturing their uniqueness, women have been subjected to some forms of hardship as a result of their gender.

You look around and you realize that violence on women and other degrading acts has been on a steady rise lately. I’m really glad and impressed that the Nigerian House of Representative has approved the recommendation of life imprisonment for rapist, and a four year jail term or a fine of not more than N200,000 or both for persons convicted of performing Female Genital Mutilation-(FGM) on a woman. I think this should bring some hope of restoring human dignity to our women.

I’ll like to share two stories to buttress the fact that women matter in all aspects of life; that women have a lot more to contribute to our society than just being regarded as mere baby making machines. They practically bring joy and hope to our world. Women make our world more exciting and pleasant. We’ve got to listen and take them a lot more seriously if we’d attain economic or individual progress and prosperity.

For instance, there are several speculations as regard what would have been the state of Lehman Brothers if it were to be Lehman Sisters or perhaps, Lehman Brothers and Sister. Lehman Brothers was founded in 1850 by Henry, Emanuel and Mayer. Lehman Brothers was the fourth largest investment bank in the US and with holdings of over $600billion, at some point, it was considered as a company too big to fail.

Unfortunately, it became the largest bankruptcy filing in history when it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2008. It was actually forced to declare bankruptcy when it experienced drastic drop in share prices after so many clients departed, and also as a result of devaluation of its assets.

The truth remains that the closure of Lehman Brothers played a major role in the global financial meltdown that struck the world in 2008, basically because many big banks all over the world that dealt with them lost billions, leading to the crash of several millions of micro investors.

When you consider that Lehman Brothers crashed due to the high level of risk that were taken by the chief strategist at some points, amongst other bad business approaches and decisions; you just might want to assert the sentiment that our world, probably would have been saved from the present global financial crisis, if such a great investment bank had some feminine administrative influence. See I’m not critically saying that women don’t take risk at all, but the truth is that they are a lot more cautious than men who can be excessively driven by testosterone.

Several studies have supported the notion that women are more risk averse than men. Experts have also researched that women are more trustworthy and altruistic, most essentially when negotiating for others. Going by a though-provoking hypothesis by a Canadian researcher at the University of British Columbia business school, it was discovered that “high testosterone level in men of a certain age are associated with more aggressive decisions that throw caution to the winds.” It then becomes wise and imperative to include and respect the views of women as well in economic matters.

The second story is the sad story I was told about a family who lost three kids in the December 10, 2005 Sosoliso air crash. I learnt that the mother of these kids had a dream prior to the crash. In her dream, she saw coffins and that got her troubled. After she prayed about the issue, she had a premonition that her kids would be involved in a disaster. When her kids were returning home for Christmas holiday, she became more afraid and she prayed that if her kids will be involved when coming home for the Xmas holiday, may God not let them get their flight tickets. Somehow, the kids later called and said they couldn’t get their tickets for one reason or the other. So she agreed and made provision for them to come by road. But her husband won’t share in her premonitions, so he disagreed to the kids coming by road. He later made arrangement to ensure that they travelled by air; unfortunately the family lost all the kids.

The two instances might help to emphasize that men need to build a culture of listening and appreciating women and that involves acknowledging their views and opinions on crucial matters, be it in economic, political or social issues. And this goes beyond celebrating them on women/mothers’ day alone.

The issue is not about erasing the natural differences between men and women, the point is to acknowledge those differences and then harness them as a tool for our collective good.

[ Read More ]

There’s No Law Against The Granting Of Pardon To Any Criminal But...By @Lanre_Olagunju

Just when you manage to allow yourself think that things can’t get worse with governance in Nigeria, you can be always sure to get one rude shock or the other. But with President Jonathan’s hopeless administration, you can be so sure of an overdose of rude shocks as each day brings up fresh absurdities and insane anomalies.

The unfortunate side of the story is that we the governed allow ourselves to   dwell in the delusion that President Jonathan is clueless. I beg to say that he’s not. He has an agenda and he wouldn’t mind to undo the little good deeds of past administrations to ruin Nigeria of any good that remains in it.

Who actually defends and speak for a thief, if he himself is not a thief. Beside the media debate over the pardon of Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, former governor of Bayelsa state, and the crazy excuse  of “there’s no law against the granting of pardon to any criminal” the Presidential spokesmen have uttered, Nigerians need to query and look deeper into the bigger plans of these charlatans.  I strongly believe that there’s more to this generous act of pardon than meets the eye

Though we must acknowledge that it’s a lawful act, but with what moral prism does President Jonathan justifies such act of pardoning a symbol of national disgrace who was arrested in Britain in 2005 on charges of laundering more than $3 million? He also jumped bail and flew to Nigeria where he was prosecuted, becoming the first ex-governor to be convicted of corruption. Report has it that he fled the UK to Nigeria disguised in a woman’s clothing.

What severe punishment has he undergone that the presidency says he has become remorseful? Alamieyeseigha was released in 2007, two days after receiving a two-year sentence, because he had already served two years in prison since his arrest.

Yes, we can’t stop President Jonathan from having a thief as a mentor and former boss, but he must be reminded that this country doesn’t belong to him and his family alone. Neither does it belong to the PDP.  The state pardon granted Alamieyeseigha and other criminals shamefully reduce his hypocritical transformation agenda to a lousy joke. And not only that, it has also gone a long way in trivializing the previous war won against corruption in Nigeria. Now Nigeria’s shame isn’t limited to her geographical boundaries. Globally, we have lost the small reputation that we are yet to build, making us all look like a people of no value and collective morality.

The pardon Alamieyeseigha and his other corrupt allies now enjoy means that they can now run for political office come 2015. And that in every way is so very absurd! If we can’t clear away present corrupt office holders, why should we bring back their godfathers? Obviously, President Jonathan seems to be paying Alamieyeseigha for favours he has enjoyed in the past or for his personal and selfish 2015 ambitions. He certainly intends to achieve one thing or the order at the expense of over 160 million people.

In the words of Prominent Nigerian human rights lawyer Bamidele Aturu, he was quoted as saying “it is better to fling open the gates of all our prisons and ask all the inmates to walk out into the warm embrace of their relatives than pardon those who force otherwise decent Nigerians to take to crime as a way of life,”

My simple advice to President Jonathan is that he can as well declare Nigeria a lawless nation so we can bigheartedly pardon and give equality to all criminals. Because how many criminals in Nigerian prisons have stolen as much money as Alamieyeseigha?

I deeply think that the major prayer Nigeria needs at this point is to survive President Jonathan’s administration. The only fear is that no one can rightly ascertain that the worse of this administration has happened yet. We need not forget that we are being  governed by a President who publicly made it known that he doesn’t give a damn.

I am @Lanre_olagunju

[ Read More ]

Leadership Lessons from Martin Luther King Jr. By @Lanre_Olagunju

Last Monday, the world again celebrated the Martin Luther king Jr. Day which is habitually celebrated every third Monday of January. As an eloquent preacher, Dr. King was the orator and leader of the non-aggressive civil rights movement of the 1960s. His I have a Dream speech has remained a phenomenal point of reference for leaders all over the world. Let’s draw some lessons from his speech and outstanding leadership approach.

Lesson #1 Great leaders don’t keep quiet on issues that matter.

When we keep quiet on important national or personal issues, we give permission to the oppressor. We deny ourselves the opportunity for freedom. Martin Luther King said “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” During the course of the week, a couple of social media giants in the country decided to raise the issue of dying one-thousand-five-hundred children of Bagega in Nigeria’s Zamfara State. Within a short time, the awareness went viral on social media.

These kids have been afflicted by Lead poison, and their life is in danger. Restoration and remediation of the environment has been unnecessarily delayed by the government. Speaking up for these kids brought the issue to the desk and minds of the government officials concerned.  People were made to see the reality of losing these young ones if the prevailing deafening silence wasn’t crushed.

Lesson #2 Leaders know how to communicate their vision to the mind and heart of their followers.

Leadership in the real sense goes beyond just having a plan and knowing how to execute it.  The work of a true leader lies in his ability to have a vision, share the vision, lay the path to achieve the vision, and then inspire others to follow the vision while he takes the lead role.  Martin Luther King knows how to engage the heart of his followers. He does that by harnessing the use of stories and metaphor.

Lesson #3 Brave enough to reject the status quo and not be indifferent about it.

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference, says Elie Wiesel. Refusing to be indifferent is a defining characteristic of great leaders. They are not passive people. They are reactive and sometimes proactive, depending on the circumstance. They always take a stand and they ventilate it openly without fear. “But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.” were the brave words of Martin Luther King.

Lesson #4 Fight your course on the high plane of dignity and discipline.

Good leaders know how to struggle out their course within the boundary of dignity, ethics and morality.. And this is one area where I so much respect Martin Luther King. It’s quite difficult to imagine how to lead so much people in a struggle against injustice and segregation and yet eschew violence “But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must ever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.” Martin Luther King said.

Lesson #5 Use picture words to articulate the desired end.

Another quality lesson from MLK is that he harnessed the power of what I call picture words. Words that make followers see beyond today’s struggle but the benefit of the struggle, and how posterity will be pleased with their actions. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today! I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right down in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today!”

[ Read More ]

Five Simple Steps To Becoming More Intelligent By Jesse Ford

The brain is an amazing organ; the coordination centre of sensation and intellect. There used to be a misconception about our brains, our intelligence, and our IQ. We used to think that we were bound to live with the intelligence level we had at any given time. New research has shown that we can become more intelligent, smarter, and increase our IQ levels by taking some specific yet simple actions. These are the actions to take to become smarter and more intelligent:

Action #1: Reshaping The Brain

Lets start with our brains. Our brains have elasticity and plasticity. Over the course of your life, your brain has the ability to reshape connections when faced with new experiences. At any age, the brain can grow new neurons and the more mental stimulation you get, the more brain function is improved. By brain training exercises and games you can improve your attention, problem solving skills, memory, and processing speed.

Action #2: Learn a Foreign Language or Two
New research suggests that learning a foreign language gives you a mental boost. It also protects you from age related mental decline and lowers the risk of developing problems of memory loss or mental decline. Those who speak several languages have a reduced risk of developing cognitive problems. Learning a foreign language provides the brain with a mental workout that fine tunes the brain and makes your brain more powerful.
Nowadays you can learn a foreign language in the comfort of your own surroundings and just by devoting about 20 minutes a day over a period, you can learn to speak a foreign language. Learning new languages contribute to make you “smarter”. Let’s face it, it makes you appear to be more sophisticated as well.

Action #3: Do Mind Mapping
Mind mapping is a visual thinking tool that helps you get information out, generate ideas, and analyze information. Mind mapping jogs your creativity and helps you think in a more lateral way. It helps with cognition and maximises the power of the brain. When you need to think and generate information which is something that we do very often, mind maps help you to make the most of it and really use the power of your brain. At work and at home, you can use mind mapping for your thinking and analysis of information.

Action #4: Diet and Exercise
There are certain types of foods that help to boost your brain power like blueberries, oily fish, whole grain foods, tomatoes, leafy green vegetables, brown rice, and broccoli. Talk to your doctor about your diet and about exercise so that you can get a diet and exercise plan that is scientific and really works for you.

Action #5: Increase Knowledge

Your brain has the ability to do more and you can stimulate the brain through brain training, brain games, and learning foreign languages. In addition to improving cognitive ability, you should also increase your knowledge while stimulating the brain. Read books and explore new areas of study. It helps to keep your brain sharp and makes you more knowledgeable while doing so.

[ Read More ]

It’s Sex Time by Yinka Akoleowo

Yinka shares some values I endorse about sex, hear her personal perspective to sex and marriage. Kindly do well to drop your comments too, whether you agree with her or not. Enjoy!

Right from childhood, I’ve always carried the knowing that I am unique, and that I need no one to affirm it. My thinking has always been far above average even among my peers. I seem to always have an idea about many things, if not the full picture, at least far more than half of it. Early enough, I told myself “no to premarital sex” as soon as my mum told me I was capable of bringing forth a child. Mum explained that “Having a family is no child’s play; no matter how old or prepared you are, there is always an element of surprise at each turn”.

Up until now, premarital sex didn’t use to be a celebrated thing in many Nigerian cultures, not among teenagers! As a teenager, I didn’t want to make community headlines, dragging my family name into the mud, by being the next teenage mother. So I made up my mind to do the right thing.  This is what I told myself; the only man that will know how good, bad or ugly I am in bed will be the man that has taken me to the altar.

Not that I will run off with any man I see, but he must be approved by my parent, my parent necessarily don’t have to choose for me but he must be the man I love, and above all, he must love Christ, ‘cos I believe that a man who loves Christ can’t be struggling to love his wife, he should know how to love her right, give her the respect she deserves and help her in every way he can without being a tyrant. Simply because amidst so much love, respect, honour & humility is abides.

When a woman loves, it’s with all her heart. Nothing is left.

My stands on premarital sex and marriage might sound like a childhood fantasy, but believe me, it has helped me bottle up well. Not one of the above lines can be skipped; it must be truly followed to get the expected result. It is true that we live in a world where everything wrong now seems right, essentially because we erroneously choose to believe that everyone is doing it. Please snap out of it! Yeah it might seem as if everyone is losing their ability to discern from what is actually good or bad, yet, it’s important to note that it’s only in mathematics that negative * negative = positive. Our society might be losing its didactic values but we must pause in a while and then whisper some sensible truth to ourselves! Many things in life are worth waiting for, and to every single/unmarried person reading this; sex is part of it. How do you feel after doing it? So many adults are now in abusive relationship because they put the last thing first. Premarital sex can be likened to a man who wants to build a house & the first thing he buys is the paint far before getting the land. Even if you are doing it or you’re struggling with it, it’s never too late to put things right. Believe me no one says it’s going to be easy, but it’s worth the effort.

Our parents are the angels sent to guide us; they have lived long enough to know where the tree a child is cutting will fall. Never despise their warnings or frown at their rebukes because that which they see while laying you probably won’t see even when you climb the top of the tallest mountain.

The role of God cannot be over emphasized, always put God first in all you do then you will be great in life. Marriage is a sacred thing, where you do it with God’s blessing then you have the license to have sex in its full package. Old habits die hard but with God all things are possible including abstinence.

Yinka Akoleowo

[ Read More ]

How to Procrastinate Positively In 2013 by Lanre Olagunju

Killing time is not killing, it’s suicide—Myles Munroe.

One way or the other, procrastination must have waddled its way into your goals for 2012, constituting an hindrance to some of the unachieved goals. We all are unavoidably preys to procrastination, essentially because we live in a world governed by the principle of space-time, in which anything that must happen will have to take time. Yeah time is an asset, a very vital resource at that, which is vastly needed in converting dreams into reality. But in another sense, time is also a restriction to man, essentially because we as humans can only do much within a specific time frame and then defer and hope to do other things much later. Can you now see why I said we all are preys to procrastination?

Just like there are two sides to a story and also two sides to a coin. There are basically two sides to procrastination. Many writers and self-improvement consultants who write and talk about procrastination only talk about how bad it is, how it kills opportunities and ideas and why one must be cured of it. Nevertheless, I wonder if any of these motivational experts have been able to come up with a cure for procrastination.

I vehemently disagree that procrastination has nothing good about it, specifically because many of the impressive and ambitious achievers procrastinate intelligently by choosing to give priority to the most important task. On the other hand, non-effective people are chronic procrastinators who neglect or defer important tasks as a result of laziness and lack of focus. Yet, it would be stupid to argue that of all the many ways to avoid personal success, the most sure-fire way isn’t procrastination. I’ve discovered that lazy procrastinators who squander time are awkwardly optimistic people who think they would still perfect a task by delaying it commencement to the tip end of the deadline. Therefore, they make unrealistic statements like "I’m more creative and productive under pressure." Or “I'll do it tomorrow when I’ll certainly be in the mood”

 When we procrastinate, it’s not really because we actually lack the ability to estimate time. So it’s not actually a problem of time management like many think. I like the way Dr. Joseph Ferrari, a world leading expert on procrastination, who is an associate professor of psychology at De Paul University in Chicago puts it when he explained that "Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to cheer up," That’s actually not the case. One of the reasons why many indulge in procrastination is that they lack the ability to overcome the inertia to get to work. And from my personal experience as a writer who has to churn out at least two articles every week, I’ve realized that the bigger the task, the harder it is to get yourself to work. But once you overcome that resistance, it becomes a lot easier to follow it through. 

Another reason why people procrastinate when there is a big project at hand is fear of failure or do I call it fear of wasting time in case the project fails. They erroneously think that would automatically amount to waste of time spent. Like one of my brilliant teachers would say, “failing after trying your hands on a mathematical problem would have shown you ways of how not to solve that problem”. And in fact, working on big projects always leads to somewhere, whether the desired result is achieved or not.

One more form of procrastination which is quite deadly is the one some experts refer to as “unacknowledged-procrastination”. They call it unacknowledged because you might not realize that you’re deferring major task basically because you’re getting other things done, most times things that aren’t necessarily related to your major task. There are times when I need to write an article and I lazily spend so much time surfing the internet all in the name of research. At other times, I find myself replying emails or returning text messages. Or you just find the need to clean up the house, visit a friend or take the dog on a walk, so you can avoid doing the main thing. 

I ask myself this question and most times it helps “What's the best thing you could be working on at the moment, and why aren't you? This should be the most vital question any ambitious person should be asking in 2013. And the amazing thing is that once you ask yourself this question and you follow the sincere answer that presents itself in your head, you will not need to bother about procrastination anymore.

As I close, there’s a positive side to one’s ability to intelligently defer some tasks. For Instance, when you get inspiration or ideas on a particular project and you know that it’d pay off to set other important things aside, it’s wise that you give attention to this fresh idea which would in-turn, eventually increase your net productivity.

[ Read More ]

Of New Year Goals and Resolutions by @Lanre_Olagunju

I want to specially congratulate all my ardent followers and readers for making it into the New Year. You honestly should find some time to expressly ventilate an heartfelt thank-you to your guardian angel for a job well done. Most essentially when you consider that as a nation, 2012 was such a long year with several collections of disasters, gruesome killings and drama.

You might not necessarily be at a vantage point to dictate all the happenings of 2013, but to a great extent, you personally can still tell 2013 that which you want it to do and the role it should play in this chapter of the unconscious biography of yourself that you’re writing. Moreover, 2013 is still a very obedient child.

It’s actually a lot safer to pilot one’s life with clearly written goals than to depend on any autopilot of any sort. It becomes easier to persevere, remain focus and be persistent when goals are set and clearly written. Nothing boosts the self-confidence of a person striving to achieve a dream than the clearly written goals which clearly shows the end from the beginning. Goals help in mapping out sharp and intelligent problem solving strategies. Research conducted by sport psychologist reveals that world’s best athletes have concise and simple daily targets. They brilliantly understand how their daily targets connect with their long term goals.

I suggest that instead of a resolution which majorly focuses on things you actually struggled with in previous years, in 2013, do goals. Without any iota of doubt, you’d agree that many resolutions don’t live beyond the few days of the first month. And the adverse effect of this is that it makes you look incapacitated too early in the year, losing your self-confidence and self-esteem over your inability to stay true to them.

So why focus on what you don’t want to do when life has given you a plane slate where you can essentially write the things you want to see yourself do and achieve. In fact, research says that only 8 percent of those who actually make New Year resolutions truly keep them. I like the way the author of The Word For Today daily devotional puts it. “The key to breaking stubborn habits is not fighting them in your own strength. That only keeps your focus on the problem, intensifying its power. Changing your focus and submitting to God moment by moment is the key to winning, whether it’s a problem or a hang-up’”

It’s not just okay to come up with goals for the entire year in your head. As a matter of fact, it’s as good as a waste of time, definitely because they won’t live beyond the first few weeks of the year at best. When goals are written, they become so real, easy to interpret and easy to follow through. The case study of the three percent Harvard alumni who wrote down their goals at graduation, and thereafter thirty years, made more money than the 97 percent who did not; divulges that successful people write down their goals. No wonder the bible said “Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that reads it.”

It’s also important that you remain flexible as you go despite your goals. This is important because things do not always go according to plan, circumstances beyond your control might crop up, giving way to the unexpected. At such times, flexibility will help in re-adjusting your goals to suit into the unforeseen situation. In the same light, life would throw opportunities you never planned at you, by being flexible, you’d be able to respond and make the best use of them.

Do have my best wishes in 2013!

I am @Lanre_Olagunju

[ Read More ]