The reaction of parents to situations
like this has been very devastating and that has not helped in making
the condition of such teenagers any better. Let’s imagine the reaction
of a typical Nigerian parent to their ward’s untimely pregnancy. The
most common reaction is firstly, to threaten to disown the child, or to
force the child into early marriage.
Now let’s analyze both options.
Talking about disowning the child, when
this happens, the child becomes rejected at such a time where she needs
so much attention and help, and in most cases, this leads to a drastic
decision to abort such pregnancy. Obviously, aborting the child would
expose her to severe complications that may damage her womb or even cost
her life. And come to think of it unmanaged teenage pregnancy to a
large extent is contributing to the increasing figures of maternal and
newborn mortality in Africa. When such a child has been rejected, after
aborting, in the bid to desperately get finances to fend for herself,
she might engage in delinquencies that could ruin her life. Say
prostitution. Eventually, a little mistake gradually leads to the
termination of a bright future.
Considering the second option of a
forceful marriage; forcing two people who probably because of a careless
one nightstand brought a child to life can actually go a long way in
marring the future of both the guy and the girl. The lady might end up
in a marriage void of love, and she’s very likely to suffer from
physical and emotional abuse as a result of forced marriage. There’s
also a great likely hood for resentment towards the child produced from
the union, because both untimely parents might begin to see the child as
an obstacle and the reason for their unfortunate situation.
This child in question grows without
adequate parental love from both parents in an odious environment, and
she’s prone to living on the wrong guidance of her friends and peer
group, which singularly exposes her to the same mistake that brought
about her birth. And then, the cycle continues!
Looking at this from the broader
perspective, what has the parent of the pregnant teenager achieved? It’s
very important to clarify that I’m not advocating that teenagers
neglect their studies and venture into delinquencies or pre-marital sex
and then get pregnant or STDs. All I’m saying is that in cases when the
unexpected happens, measures can still be put in place to ensure that
with adequate love, advice and attention, such a child gets his steps
back again. After all, we all make mistakes, foolish mistakes,
intentional mistakes, unintended mistakes. However when such a mistake
occurs, it’s definitely not the first or the last of such.
It’s so natural and expected that
parents would get angry at such child yet; brooding over it with
incessant regret and anger cannot reverse the mistake. The deed has been
done, accept it and look for the best possible solution, give guidance
and assurance and help the child regain self-confidence and a strong
self-esteem. A search for a solution to clean up the mess is the most
important thing, ensuring that she doesn’t lose her chances of a bright
and fulfilling future. Naturally it’s expected that the teenage girl
must have realized her mistake and would be passing through a very
difficult time, both emotionally and physically. This is her most
critical and vulnerable time.
I strongly believe that a mistake is not
the end of the world; parents need to learn how to handle the issue of
teenage pregnancy well, in order to stop the cycle and help the child to
rise up again. Help and support the child through the period of
pregnancy and after, encourage her to get back to school and continue
her race towards the great future she has ahead of her. Teenage
pregnancy is seen as the end of the world, but you can help to make it
the beginning of a better life. Tell me…who doesn’t deserve a second
chance?
Photo Credit: lifechoicesrc.com
This article was first published on www.bellanaija.com
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