Damage Control for Teenage Pregnancy By Modupe Olabenjo

The issue of teenage pregnancy has always been on my mind, considering that the number of occurrence among teenagers is escalating. Among a particular age group in each secondary school, you can be sure to have cases of teenage pregnancy. I did some research on available works about this issue and found out that majority of the articles available talked about the causes and consequences of teenage pregnancy. I was astonished to found out that only a few actually talked about what really happens after the deed has been done and a teenager is found to be pregnant. This brings to live the question of what happens after a case of teenage pregnancy has been discovered and more importantly, how parents and guardians of such children should react.

The reaction of parents to situations like this has been very devastating and that has not helped in making the condition of such teenagers any better. Let’s imagine the reaction of a typical Nigerian parent to their ward’s untimely pregnancy. The most common reaction is firstly, to threaten to disown the child, or to force the child into early marriage.

Now let’s analyze both options.

Talking about disowning the child, when this happens, the child becomes rejected at such a time where she needs so much attention and help, and in most cases, this leads to a drastic decision to abort such pregnancy. Obviously, aborting the child would expose her to severe complications that may damage her womb or even cost her life. And come to think of it unmanaged teenage pregnancy to a large extent is contributing to the increasing figures of maternal and newborn mortality in Africa. When such a child has been rejected, after aborting, in the bid to desperately get finances to fend for herself, she might engage in delinquencies that could ruin her life. Say prostitution. Eventually, a little mistake gradually leads to the termination of a bright future.

Considering the second option of a forceful marriage; forcing two people who probably because of a careless one nightstand brought a child to life can actually go a long way in marring the future of both the guy and the girl. The lady might end up in a marriage void of love, and she’s very likely to suffer from physical and emotional abuse as a result of forced marriage. There’s also a great likely hood for resentment towards the child produced from the union, because both untimely parents might begin to see the child as an obstacle and the reason for their unfortunate situation.

This child in question grows without adequate parental love from both parents in an odious environment, and she’s prone to living on the wrong guidance of her friends and peer group, which singularly exposes her to the same mistake that brought about her birth. And then, the cycle continues!

Looking at this from the broader perspective, what has the parent of the pregnant teenager achieved? It’s very important to clarify that I’m not advocating that teenagers neglect their studies and venture into delinquencies or pre-marital sex and then get pregnant or STDs. All I’m saying is that in cases when the unexpected happens, measures can still be put in place to ensure that with adequate love, advice and attention, such a child gets his steps back again. After all, we all make mistakes, foolish mistakes, intentional mistakes, unintended mistakes. However when such a mistake occurs, it’s definitely not the first or the last of such.

It’s so natural and expected that parents would get angry at such child yet; brooding over it with incessant regret and anger cannot reverse the mistake. The deed has been done, accept it and look for the best possible solution, give guidance and assurance and help the child regain self-confidence and a strong self-esteem. A search for a solution to clean up the mess is the most important thing, ensuring that she doesn’t lose her chances of a bright and fulfilling future. Naturally it’s expected that the teenage girl must have realized her mistake and would be passing through a very difficult time, both emotionally and physically. This is her most critical and vulnerable time.

I strongly believe that a mistake is not the end of the world; parents need to learn how to handle the issue of teenage pregnancy well, in order to stop the cycle and help the child to rise up again. Help and support the child through the period of pregnancy and after, encourage her to get back to school and continue her race towards the great future she has ahead of her. Teenage pregnancy is seen as the end of the world, but you can help to make it the beginning of a better life. Tell me…who doesn’t deserve a second chance?

Photo Credit: lifechoicesrc.com

This article was first published on www.bellanaija.com

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This Is Why Women Matter To Us by Lanre Olagunju

The fact that the first woman is the only creature created from an already existing and living being tells a lot about a woman’s uniqueness and strength. But in a couple of ways, the world is yet to harness the power and strength of a woman. The saddest part is that instead of appreciating and nurturing their uniqueness, women have been subjected to some forms of hardship as a result of their gender.

You look around and you realize that violence on women and other degrading acts has been on a steady rise lately. I’m really glad and impressed that the Nigerian House of Representative has approved the recommendation of life imprisonment for rapist, and a four year jail term or a fine of not more than N200,000 or both for persons convicted of performing Female Genital Mutilation-(FGM) on a woman. I think this should bring some hope of restoring human dignity to our women.

I’ll like to share two stories to buttress the fact that women matter in all aspects of life; that women have a lot more to contribute to our society than just being regarded as mere baby making machines. They practically bring joy and hope to our world. Women make our world more exciting and pleasant. We’ve got to listen and take them a lot more seriously if we’d attain economic or individual progress and prosperity.

For instance, there are several speculations as regard what would have been the state of Lehman Brothers if it were to be Lehman Sisters or perhaps, Lehman Brothers and Sister. Lehman Brothers was founded in 1850 by Henry, Emanuel and Mayer. Lehman Brothers was the fourth largest investment bank in the US and with holdings of over $600billion, at some point, it was considered as a company too big to fail.

Unfortunately, it became the largest bankruptcy filing in history when it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2008. It was actually forced to declare bankruptcy when it experienced drastic drop in share prices after so many clients departed, and also as a result of devaluation of its assets.

The truth remains that the closure of Lehman Brothers played a major role in the global financial meltdown that struck the world in 2008, basically because many big banks all over the world that dealt with them lost billions, leading to the crash of several millions of micro investors.

When you consider that Lehman Brothers crashed due to the high level of risk that were taken by the chief strategist at some points, amongst other bad business approaches and decisions; you just might want to assert the sentiment that our world, probably would have been saved from the present global financial crisis, if such a great investment bank had some feminine administrative influence. See I’m not critically saying that women don’t take risk at all, but the truth is that they are a lot more cautious than men who can be excessively driven by testosterone.

Several studies have supported the notion that women are more risk averse than men. Experts have also researched that women are more trustworthy and altruistic, most essentially when negotiating for others. Going by a though-provoking hypothesis by a Canadian researcher at the University of British Columbia business school, it was discovered that “high testosterone level in men of a certain age are associated with more aggressive decisions that throw caution to the winds.” It then becomes wise and imperative to include and respect the views of women as well in economic matters.

The second story is the sad story I was told about a family who lost three kids in the December 10, 2005 Sosoliso air crash. I learnt that the mother of these kids had a dream prior to the crash. In her dream, she saw coffins and that got her troubled. After she prayed about the issue, she had a premonition that her kids would be involved in a disaster. When her kids were returning home for Christmas holiday, she became more afraid and she prayed that if her kids will be involved when coming home for the Xmas holiday, may God not let them get their flight tickets. Somehow, the kids later called and said they couldn’t get their tickets for one reason or the other. So she agreed and made provision for them to come by road. But her husband won’t share in her premonitions, so he disagreed to the kids coming by road. He later made arrangement to ensure that they travelled by air; unfortunately the family lost all the kids.

The two instances might help to emphasize that men need to build a culture of listening and appreciating women and that involves acknowledging their views and opinions on crucial matters, be it in economic, political or social issues. And this goes beyond celebrating them on women/mothers’ day alone.

The issue is not about erasing the natural differences between men and women, the point is to acknowledge those differences and then harness them as a tool for our collective good.

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