1.
He never discusses marriage: This is perhaps the first
hint that should start ringing warning bells in your mind. Your boyfriend
cannot be caught dead talking about marriage as an institution or even
commenting on commercials for wedding products and services. He won’t mention
it even if his own brother is getting married and he is going to be the best
man. His aversion to the M-word should be indication enough that marriage does
not figure anywhere in his near future.
2.
He is hugely ambitious: Guys whose only mission
in their lives is to reach the top of their professional ladder are likely to take
their time settling down. This is because emotional commitment to a partner
might force them to cut down on their working hours and make networking with
business contacts or frequent out-of-town trips difficult. Though this is not
to say that married guys don’t find success – witness President Obama and Bill
Gates – super ambitious men who are perpetually looking for the next bigger and
better thing are more likely to consider marriage as leading to professional
stagnation.
3.
All his friends are single: This is as sure a sign as
any that your boyfriend is not going to propose marriage. If you notice
that his social circle is exclusively made of bachelors and divorced men, it is
evident that he is uncomfortable around married couples and has no plans to
join their ranks in near future.
4.
He has strong sexual needs: A guy who places great
emphasis on sex and considers it the most important part of a relationship is
unlikely to settle for a single partner. Gone are the days when men could be
baited into marriage on the lure of sex. The dissociation of sex and marriage
as well as sexual freedom for women has also made it easier for men to keep
sleeping around unless they wish to marry for other reasons. And if your
boyfriend has a large sexual appetite, it is unlikely to be satisfied by a
single person. He will sooner or later get tired of being with you and move on
to someone else he can go to bed with.
5.
He lives out of a suitcase: Men with unstable
living conditions usually have priorities like work and travel which are bound
to clash with a stable married life. You may be thrilled to have a
high-flying war correspondent or wildlife photographer as a boyfriend,
but such people are unlikely to settle down to tame domesticity. Far easier to
spot – and avoid – are guys who are in and out of jobs or in trouble with the
law and thus perpetually on the move. Rather look for men who have stable lives
since they are the ones more likely to be looking for stable relationships.
6.
He does not take you to meet his family: This is an unmistakable
sign that a guy is not considering marriage even though he may be dating
someone. Men usually discuss their families only with those who are close
enough to be let into their inner lives. If your boyfriend has never suggested
that you meet his parents and even appears to be uncomfortable talking about
them to you, then perhaps he is not ready to make you an intrinsic part of his
life.
7.
You don’t figure in his plans: When talking about his
future, does your guy merely discuss his goals of starting a business someday
and are his dreams limited to retiring by the sea with his very own beach house
and luxury boat? If so or something similar, then this is an indication that
you are not part of his future plans and thus unlikely to be his wife any time
soon. Unless of course, he goes through a life-changing experience and realizes
the value of a committed relationship which is again putting too much store by
chance and therefore not worth wasting your life for.
8.
He doesn’t ask you about yours: In a reversal of the
above point, a guy unwilling to commit will also be uninterested to know about
your life goals and hopes for the future. The present – comfortably carefree
and uncomplicated – is good enough for him. He does not want to know if you
want to eventually settle in the suburbs or how many kids would you like to
have and whether you would prefer little girls or boys. Hell, he doesn’t even
want to know where you have always wanted to go for your honeymoon! If you find
all this true in case of your boyfriend, then you can kiss your dreams of
marrying him goodbye and start looking for a more suitable guy.
9.
He is divorced: While divorced men are
technically single and thus seeming candidates for a committed relationship, if
your guy has gone through a particularly messy divorce, then probably he cannot
bear the thought of marrying again. To be sure about this, pry around gently to
see how badly he feels about his breakup and whether the scars are deep enough
to be permanent. Other than emotional issues, a divorced man may also be caught
up in child support and alimony so as to make any further commitments
completely out of the question.
10.
He is not forthcoming about personal
information: Have
you ever wondered why your boyfriend is always vague when you ask him about his
work and where he lives? You might have a rough idea that he is into finance
and that he commutes from the suburbs but if he is unwilling to clearly share
his personal information with you, probably he has something to hide – a spouse
or a lover maybe. Or more likely he is determined to keep you away from the
rest of his personal life. Not exactly marriage material, is he?
No one can say for sure
what goes on in a person’s mind and what influences his/her decisions. But if
your boyfriend displays all or most of the above signs, then more likely than
not, he is not yet ready to propose marriage to you.
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