She
came in with high hopes, and a little much more than a mustard seed sized
faith. All she wanted were healing prayers for her mouth deformation, which has
brought her shame and constant misery. But little does she know that Sokoto can
be much closer than her own ‘sokoto’. Before she could say much with the same
deformed mouth, the clergy got this strong nudge to ask her about her mother
in-law.
With so
much pain and reserved anger, she expressed that the memory of her mother
in-law isn’t one she wants to remember, let alone discuss. The reverend again explained
to her that the one who teaches him all things says that she has unresolved
issues with her mother in-law. He persuaded that no matter how cruel or hateful
she might have been; it’s right about time she freed the old woman.
She
did all she could possibly do to ensure that her internal waterworks doesn’t
bleed out, as she fought back hot tears. At this point, the painful videos of
her mother in-law’s wrong doings brought her freshly cultivated sharp emotional
pains of suffering. The deep unhealed sores were punctured on the surface and the
misery done to her by another mortal who doubles as a woman just like herself were
played back with clear motion picture sharp enough to bring back pains just the
same way they were first felt at the point when she was afflicted.
For
all the reason she could think of, letting the old woman be was just ok. But to
be persuaded to forgive her, to her, is like giving her only heart to a foe. Of
a sudden she lost the control to tame her tears and couldn’t but wail with such
profusion strange of an adult. Amidst her weeping and wailing she decided with
so much effort and struggle in her mind to forgive her mother in-law just like
the clergy as persuaded. And almost instantly, something absolutely incredible
happened. I mean something hugely amazing!
See, without
everlasting series of prayer sessions, where worried prayer warriors cum prayer
contractors sweat it out at loosing the same unknown demons they bind. Her
mouth returned from the state of deformation. Even without the simple Lord’s
Prayer. I mean her mouth, again became like that of you and I.
Immediately
the woman left the office of the clergyman, something more dramatic happened. The
clergy in awe went on his knees and said to the one who sees every corner of
darkness much more than we see in daylight. ‘I forgive anyone who might have
wronged me, including those I can remember and those I might never remember’.
Someone
said to forgive is to set
a prisoner free only to discover that the prisoner was you. There
can’t be a better way to say it! When you hold
resentment towards a person, it’s like being bound to that person by an
emotional link stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to melt such link
and get free, considering that we have great things to do and that life is
short.
Forgiveness is the most difficult of all forms
of giving. It has nothing to do with the pocket. Though, most times it costs
pains and tears. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend, at other
times; it might just be hopelessly more difficult to forgive oneself than to forgive
a friend. That we haven't forgiven ourselves of something might be
responsible for why we don’t see enough reasons to forgive others.
I like
the fascinating way Gandhi put it when he said “The weak can never
forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” No one forgives with
more grace and love than a child. In fact the most captivating
thing about little kids is their intricate ability not just to forgive but to
completely forget.
When
we forgive as adult, do we truly forget? Memories that won’t vamoose from the skull
easily are the memories of pains and pleasure. Since forgiving comes with
element of pains, whether big or small. Therefore, to forget in the literary
sense of the word, is an almost impossible task. After all, to forgive, one
must first remember and move beyond the experience itself.
When
we move beyond pains and bitterness, a freshness that beats the breeze of the
sea brings joy and insight to produce positive results in that same area that
once brought pains. The positive outcome brought about by such insight, heals
wounds faster than any balm medicine can provide.
Forgiving
won’t miraculously wipe out bitter and distasteful experiences. Never! The
‘forgive and forget’ cliché only sounds moral and I wonder how practicable it
is. A healed memory is not automatically a deleted memory! Rather forgiving
the unforgettable helps us to remember the experience in an absolutely better
way. When we look those who have wronged us in the eye without resentment or
any iota of bitterness, and then can wish them well, then we just know that forgiveness
has taken place.
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the writer @larigoldd on twitter.
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